The Way, The Art & The Beauty…

Ever wondered how much pain can work causes an individual?

Ever wondered that after a ll the effort put in and patiently working and waiting for an entire year & with facts that you are almost certain to achieve it without a shadow of a doubt but unfortunately the end result just hit you in the face so hard that your motivation level is just drained instantly out of your system that now leaves you dry and lost?

Ever just felt like unleashing the devil or Mr Hyde or in simpler terms, revealing the dark side of yourself?

At long last, after an existence on our planet Earth for 24 years, I finally realised it and am experiencing it right now…

A day or two ago, an email was circulated. One that were to let all individuals be aware and adhere to certain disciplines. I thought about it and realised that all we are working is to benefit the children. Dressing within the visionary sight of the children and parents are important. BUT, do I see any of these 2 categories of people in the working vicinity? I DON”T THINK SO!!!

There was a description on “No light dress”. But, no explanation WUTSOEVA! So many meanings were derived during discussions between my frens & fellow colleagues. WTF!!!

One of the comments that really hit me in the face is the topic of mobile phones to be silent or switched off when in the office. For me it was never a problem, but the comment in general sucks as his very own phone rings DURING…I repeat…DURING!!!!!!!!!!! the meeting!!! WTF!!! WTF!!! WTF!!! WTF!!!

And can somebody explain to me the rational behind placing your hands in your pockets? If you tell me that showing the ‘finger’ at someone’s face is not allowed I agree 100% as it is an impolite and an insulting gesture, which I believe anyone in his or her right mind would not do so. But hands in the pocket???? I welcome any explanation so I may get the answer cause after thinking through it all other ways, I can’t seem to decipher the reason behind it. Weird fucking stuff!

Now, next will be the event that had now turned me from a Jedi into a Sith Lord!

“The Darkside of the Force is a Pathway to many abilities some considered to be Unnatural”

to

to

Suddenly I feel that Persis & I are being DISCRIMINATED at!!! A certain period ago, it came to a point I could not take it anymore and confronted the highest point of authority. Things were discussed and we left feeling pleased with the result. From that day till present, there were no such problems arising ever. NOT until now…it has arisen once again BIG TIME! I tried to think of it in all kinds of ways, upside down, inside out, and all roads still led to Rome in the end…

The spirit of give, give & give derives mostly from Passion. In one flash of a light, the Passion in me had all but once, disintegrated, leaving me dry and empty, with no reason to go on for long lengths.

Upset I am, Disappointed I am more, Pissed I am very much & Sad I am the most…

Things looked good all the way from the beginning. Thought about it all year long and worked towards it all year long, no reason for things to go wrong. But now with the fact that it has happened, everything I once held on to are now gone! As I mentioned, all roads STILL led to Rome…

There is no objection from me towards the chosen ones as they were the exact ones I had in mind to be chosen as they deserved it and are the next in line. ONLY a few individuals whose small decision had created the biggest of impacts towards me. What more can I say? My respect for the method and the people who instruct this method and the children who from my own eyes are the ones who will lead Malaysia one day, and of course my colleagues who are also my friends. Other than that, I can’t seem to move on any much longer.

It is true, the more hope you put into something, the harder it will hurt. Somehow, wut’s done is done. I can lose money, I can lose my job, I can lose my opportunities BUT NEVER will I lose my self respect & dignity!

Life goes on, and so will I!!!

- my feelings right now…